Too big for her boots. So bossy! What a show-off! Shameless self-promoter. Aggressive. Not very ladylike. Full of herself. Massive eye-roll!
Good grief. Is it any wonder that women don’t get out there and promote their achievements? Any wonder why we have so many books about how to be confident? Any wonder women keep their accomplishments to themselves and as a result, play small? These are mean, awful ways to describe women being kept in their place and pretty much always mean ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ is about to kick in.
Tall Poppy Syndrome
For those readers, lucky enough not to know about Tall Poppy Syndrome, let me enlighten you. When a poppy grows taller than its peers in the field, it has its head lopped off. ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ phenomenon applies to women (and men) when she attempts to rise in life or work and is immediately cut down with criticism or judgement. The theory is her changing stature threatens the status quo.
I remember being ambitious as a kid at primary school and declaring I’d like to be school captain the next year. My peers dished out a lesson in being too big for my boots, being bossy, being a show-off and it was a lesson that remained with me for decades. This and other lessons through my gruesome teenage years taught me to keep my head down, fit in with the crowd and never, ever speak up or call attention to myself about being talented and ambitious.
No small wonder that women hold back, do not lean in or step up when the limelight beckons.
The limelight can be harsh, even brutal. So, women wait. They wait for the right time, the right boss, the right role…they wait to be noticed. Guess what? You’re not going to be noticed, discovered, anointed or appointed. BECAUSE NO-ONE KNOWS ABOUT YOU! Your skills, your talents, your super powers and your accomplishments will remain unknown unless you call attention to them.
If you are being overlooked for promotions or wonderful opportunities seem to pass you by, maybe it’s because no one knows how good you are, what super powers you have or the difference you make. Because you haven’t told anyone for fear of having your head lopped off! Well there’s one easy, practical step you can take to overcome this barrier. Tell stories!
Bring in the dragons! It’s time to slay!
Story telling is a fantastic way for women to showcase their accomplishments and achievements. One method I absolutely love is using the dragon slaying method to tell your stories. Dragon slaying is an easy to remember and practice storytelling method to use to authentically, and without embarrassment, tell a story about a time when you made something happen, that was important and made a difference. The method is a simple 3-part ‘recipe’ for showcasing your accomplishment:
- The problem you encountered
- The solution you created
- The impact you had
You tell your audience what was wrong, what you did, how you fixed the issue and what the great outcome was. Simple, right? Start practicing telling stories at dinner every night. Yep, tell your dinner partner(s) a story about your day or your week that uses this method. Practice really does make perfect. Then start ‘dragon slaying’ at work, in meetings, at coffee.
I know that many women have a real barrier when it comes to self-promoting, so learning to tell stories using the dragon slaying method or in any way that feels authentic to you is a great way to start broadcasting and showcasing your talents, super powers and accomplishments.
Not everyone’s cup of tea.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and neither are my accomplishments. Not everyone gives a f*** about what I give a f*** about. But not ‘everyone’ matters. I recognised some time ago that stopping worrying about what other people thought and starting to think about generously sharing my knowledge, skills, experienced and wisdom through story telling was a far more satisfying way to live my life. Read my article on how liberating it is to not give a F***! Recognise that you are not everyone’s cup of tea either, but frankly, not everyone matters! Work out who matters, find a way to tell them your dragon slaying story and be a tall, vibrant, poppy in all her glory that gives zero f***’s!
If you would like me to help you with your dragon slaying story and get you running, not walking, towards that limelight, then enrol in an Advancing Women Masterclass or sign up for Mentoring2Advance, my group mentoring program that teaches you The Advancing Women Formula.
This article was originally published by Advancing Women, and authored by Michelle Redfern
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